Every day many people lose significant time at work due to the inability to say “no.” So you can save a lot of time by becoming more assertive at work. This isn’t always easy, but there are ways to learn it fairly simply. You need assertiveness at work in order to have your own tasks completed by the end of the day. By the way, it’s also nice in everyday life if you can just say no from time to time.
Not being able to say “no” is frustrating
Being unable to say “no” is quite difficult. Anyone who can’t do it knows just how frustrating it can be — at home and at work. If you can’t say “no” at work, eventually you’ll deal with a chronic lack of time. When you also can’t say “no” in your private life, eventually you’ll no longer have any free time. At Het Effectieve Werken we hear from people that they find it frustrating that they can’t say no. Understandably, because it comes at the expense of yourself. Fortunately, it’s much easier to say no than you might think.
Why is saying “no” so difficult?
The inability to say “no” generally stems from the kindness in your character. Most people who can’t say “no” like to be helpful and are afraid of hurting others when they turn something down. As a “no-sayer-challenged” person you’ll likely recognise how people easily take advantage of your goodness. Colleagues exploit your inability to say no — and that’s where it goes wrong. Sometimes it’s enough to become more conscious of how you position yourself, to make sure others exploit you less. You rarely tell that you have difficulty saying no — and yet everyone knows it. This is because you’ve positioned yourself as the typical “no-sayer-challenged”. By giving this some attention you can solve quite a lot.
The fact that your inability to say “no” can really land you in trouble is also demonstrated quite nicely by Helligen Hendrik in his 2008 year-end sketch.
The power of “yes, but”
The word “no” is often seen as a hard rejection, especially if it’s not followed by a good reason. This fact makes saying no even harder. There is an easier way to solve this. You can also say “yes” and yet refuse something. Here lies the power of “yes, but”. We give you some examples in Q&A form.
Q: Can you go fetch coffee for the department?
A: Yes, but then someone else will have to take over my phone appointment.
Q: Can you send confirmation of all orders via email to the customers?
A: Yes, but this task must be done first, otherwise we risk losing a large customer.
Q: Can you do the reports today?
A: Yes, but I have little time today. I can do it tomorrow.
Becoming more assertive step by step
It’s not necessary to learn to say “no” overnight. You can change step by step so that in the future you can also maintain it easily. By starting your answer with “yes” it doesn’t feel like a direct refusal. Then you follow with a powerful “but”. This part of your answer causes the other to look for a different solution. If the choice is between fetching coffee yourself or taking over the phone appointment, the other person will likely go for the coffee! With a bit of luck, you’ll have a cup of coffee on your desk within a quarter hour. You can increase your influence by becoming more assertive at work, so that you can win time for your own tasks.
Effective time-gaining
Gaining time at work is always good. It saves you a lot of stress and results in more job satisfaction. Gaining time effectively may be a matter of organising your time better. A time-management course can of course help you with this. Het Effectieve Werken can give you all the necessary tips to manage your time better. Want to know more? Feel free to contact us.
